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So the pommie trudges outside into the rain and all he can see in the rain is two big piles of shit, one much bigger than the other. So the pommie walks over to the smaller pile, relieved that someone had the sense to start a new pile since the larger one was clearly unmanageable.

He has his pants around his ankles and is in the process of relieving himself when a gunshot rings out and a bullet smacks into the heap just beside his head.

Well the poor pommie turns around, in a somewhat vulnerable position, and sees this huge Aussie guy standing at the door of the pub with his still smoking gun in his hand.
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"What..What is going on?" Stammers the poor pommie.

The huge Aussie responds "Get the hell out of the Laidies you dirty bastard."